


if you're gonna be the death of me, that's how i wanna go

by alice_sa



Category: Noli Me Tangere & Related Works - José Rizal
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Elias is not that broody, Eventual Smut, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor, I don’t know how I got to this point in my life, M/M, Maria Clara has a working gaydar, My boy Elias is rugged as all hell, My boy Ibarra has boyish good looks, Priests? I don’t know her, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, don't ask me why i named him pico bc i don't know the answer, don't fuCKING JUDGE, elibarra trash, honestly, just get ready for anything because I certainly am not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-03-15 11:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13612407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alice_sa/pseuds/alice_sa
Summary: Elias suddenly finds himself living with Crisostomo Ibarra after meeting with him to talk about his father one night. They both have no idea what to feel about it.or the Elibarra fic no one asked for.





	1. The Pilot & The Illustrado

**Author's Note:**

> So, here's what happened: We were discussing _Kabanata 23, "Pangingisda,"_ the one where Elias was introduced, in Filipino Class. I realized that Elias had the most detailed description of a character so far--he was described as slightly handsome and had muscles _for days._ So he was pegged as the _"Tunay na Daddy."_ It's not my fault that Crisostomo looked fucking smitten in the illustration in our book, alright? That scene has forever changed the way I looked at these two characters. I'm sorry, I'm trash, but I just couldn't help shipping them because they would look cute together. I know our boy Jose Rizal was up to something with these two. Okay anyway, now I'm writing a fanfic. I can't believe I've come to this point. I don't know if I should be disappointed or proud of myself. 
> 
> To those who received the link to this fic from me, please do not leak it. If you do, you are dead to me and you are free to choke. Death threats aside, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I haven't finished the book yet so I am quite clueless. Good thing, this is a **fic**. Also, there will be instances where it won’t be period-approriate--I'm sorry but I'm not from the 1800s and research is too much work right now. Don't @ me.
> 
> Title is from _Collar Full_ by Panic! At The Disco.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two days after _Kabanata 24, "Sa Kagubatan"_

“Crisostomo?”

Ibarra startles out of his trance when he hears his lover’s voice. A sweet, calm voice he has longed for when he was away, yet now he is strangely longing for something else, and he doesn’t know what it is.

He doesn’t speak until he feels her pat his arm and call him again. She sits next to him and looks out the window as he was. 

“Oh?” Ibarra says, “Is there something wrong?” 

“Are you feeling fine? You’re looking rather preoccupied with those thoughts of yours,” Maria Clara says and points at his forehead then chuckles. 

Ibarra merely smiles as he looks at her face. They look at each other’s eyes for a moment before Ibarra breaks the contact and looks down. 

“Are you not going home yet? It’s getting late, dear. Won’t Tiya Isabel be looking for you by now?” Ibarra asks, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Yes, she is.” She pauses, frowns, looks down then back up into Ibarra’s eyes. “Do you not want me here?” 

Ibarra looks at her with surprise. “No! It’s not that at all. It’s just that, it is getting late, Maria. If you stay here any longer, Tiya will think something is up and accuse us of inappropriate behavior.” 

He looks at her with worried eyes as if apologizing if he has said something wrong while convincing her of his reason. 

Maria continues frowning for a moment before smiling at Ibarra and giggling. “I’m just kidding! You looked so worried! I’ll go. Tiya will get very upset if I don’t any sooner.” 

Ibarra lets out a sigh of relief. He gets up and prompts her to do so as well. They walk to the door of Ibarra’s house and bid farewell. 

“Good bye, Crisostomo. I’ll see you soon, my love,” Maria says sweetly as she walks out the door towards her carriage. 

“Good bye, my darling,” Ibarra says as he waves at her. 

He looks on as the carriage fades out of his view. He goes back in. He looks out the window for a second before closing it and flopping onto his bed. His legs are dangling over the edge of the bed and both his arms are spread so it reaches the edges as well. He stares at the canopy. 

“What is this?” He asks himself. 

He doesn’t understand a thing. Two days before, they were set to go to the forest in the middle of San Diego that his family owned. They were to have a casual lunch with their friends and others. It should’ve made him feel better about coming back to this town. But then, in the stream, there came a crocodile which the so-called Pilot and him killed. The Pilot who said that _he_ saved his life.

He doesn’t know what is truly bothering him—the fact that he almost got killed by a crocodile or that Pilot. He doesn’t know why the Pilot would even bother him. 

“What is this feeling?” He asked once again, frustrated and confused. 

He replays the events that happened two days ago. Boating, crocodile, eating, games—The Pilot being summoned by the _guardia civil_ and him disappearing before they could arrive. 

Right. _Why was he getting arrested?_ Ibarra thinks to himself.

He stayed like that, alone in his thoughts, thinking about a certain rugged young man who disappeared before he even knew his name. 

There was a knock on the door—the back door. He startles and sits up suddenly, almost getting whiplash from the speed. 

Who could be knocking at his door this late at night? 

He walks towards the back door which leads to a clearing, a few miles away from the forest in the middle of town. He pauses when he reaches it, taking caution if ever it’s one of his father’s enemies. He looks to his back where he finds a metal rod he could use as a weapon if need be. He readies himself, exhales, and opens the door. 

And of course, as if Ibarra summoned him with his thoughts alone, the Pilot stands before him. He relaxes yet he remains confused. 

“ _Señor_ Ibarra?” The man before him says. 

“Yes?” He says a few moments later after he realized he was staring. 

“I’m sorry to barge in like this so late at night, but I have to talk to you.” 

At any other situation, Ibarra would have been suspicious and would rather they talk outside. But now, before he could register what he was saying, he let the Pilot in. 

“Thank you, _Señor_ ,” the Pilot says politely when he steps in. 

“You don’t have to call me that,” Ibarra says kindly and leads them both to the dining table where they sit. “What is it you wanted to talk about?” 

“ _Señor_ Ibarra, my name is Elias.” Ibarra was going to say something about the title but opted to just let the man continue. “I was the boatman at your small gathering in the forest. You saved my life and it is not the first time an Ibarra had done so.” 

Ibarra's curiosity is piqued. “You mean, my father?” 

“Yes, Don Rafael helped me get away from my family’s chain of misfortunes.”

Ibarra smiles to himself, that sounds like something his father would do. 

“I was very young, and I think you were already in Europe when this happened. He let me stay with him for a while until the issue subsides. And I was fine, even after he let me go. But now, years later, everything is coming back. They’re tracking me again, as you may know,” Ibarra nods. “But I can only run so far, there will come a time when they’ll finally get me and arrest me for something my family has passed onto me.” Elias pauses and finally looks at Ibarra. “I feel as if I have not thanked your father enough for what he has done for me. So, just before I go, I’m here to say thanks to you, his son. I am forever grateful for what you have both done for me and I am forever in your debt. Yet, I have nothing else to offer you other than my sincere thanks. Thank you, _Señor_ Ibarra, and I bid you farewell,” Elias starts to stand up but Ibarra stops him.

“Wait. Where will you go?” Ibarra asks, curiously with a touch of worry that came out of nowhere.

“I will go as far away as I can get. I’ll wander around the country. I know they’ll soon find me anyway.” 

“No,” Ibarra says sternly and stands up to face him. He feels as if he is not in control of his body anymore. “My father has protected you before. Let me do that as well.” 

“What?” Elias turns to him with wide eyes, full of shock. “How will you do that? If you associate yourself to me, you will undoubtedly get in danger as well. You will be arrested for hiding a criminal.” 

Ibarra stands up straight, more relaxed than before, like he has already formed a plan in his head. “As you’ve said, you are not a criminal. If they accuse me of anything, it will be false. But to keep you and I safe for longer, you will pose as my servant,” Ibarra smiles, rather cheekily and proud. 

“What?” is the only thing Elias could utter.

“Yes! I will disguise you as my servant! Then, you will be safe for a while.” Elias looks at him with hesitance then looks down. “Please let me help you.” 

Elias looks up at him with less hesitation but with curiosity, “Why are you doing this? You know you will be in danger.”

Ibarra pauses, thinks of an answer, and finds himself devoid of one, “I don’t know. It’s as if my father is telling me to do so.” He’s not actually sure if that is the case.

Elias turns to him fully. He is still quite confused at the turn of events but he guesses, it’s not that bad. 

“Alright,” Elias finally says. 

Ibarra beams, “Really? Do we have a deal?” 

“Yes, but may we talk about the details of this deal?” Elias asks since he really doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into. They both don’t, actually. 

“We may,” Ibarra says and sits down, Elias following suit. 

They talk about this sudden deal of theirs. They have decided a few things: Elias is to be called _Pico_ for disguise, he shall dress differently courtesy of Ibarra, he shall stay with Ibarra in his house, and they are to spend every day together for as long as it is needed. They both know that the other is capable of fighting for themselves but they also know they’ll be stronger if they are together and there will be less damage—except maybe for the fact that they have the high chance of getting arrested or worse, killed. They shake on it after and call it a night. 

Ibarra shows Elias his room and stumbles into his room as well. As he is about to fall asleep, he thinks to himself, _What have I gotten myself into?_

Wherever Don Rafael may be, he’s either rolling in his grave or looking down at his son with one raised eyebrow.


	2. A Hero Needs His Butler

The next morning, Elias wakes up and finds himself in a room that he is not familiar with. He is on a bed that is softer than what he was used to. He sits up suddenly when he realizes he’s not in his home in the middle of the forest.

“Where am I?” He asks himself. He recounts the events of last night and remembers where he is. He is in Don Crisostomo Ibarra’s house. He sighs in relief.

He sits properly and stretched his arms as he yawns. He looks at himself in the mirror and remembers what Ibarra said to him last night. He said that the clothes he’ll be wearing during his stay would be in a closet in the corner of the room as well as everything he may need. He should look presentable and servant-like.

He looks in the closet and finds an array of clothes he never thought he may ever wear himself. It looks the same as what Ibarra wears. He picks out what to wear before going to shower. After dressing up, he looks at himself in the mirror and could not recognize himself. Except, of course, he still has his rugged long hair and slight beard so Elias is still there somewhere. He decided to slick back his hair so it won’t look as mussy.

He looks once more in the mirror and says to himself, “Pico,” before deeming himself ready and gets out of his room. He heads to the kitchen, only to find Ibarra there, cooking breakfast. The sight made him feel strangely more awake.

“Mr. Ibarra,” Elias starts and sees Ibarra flinch in surprise, “As your servant, shouldn’t I be doing that for you?”

Ibarra turns to him as he lets the eggs boil.

“Elias, that servant act is only for when we have company. When we’re alone, you may call me Crisostomo. I’d much rather be your friend than your master,” Ibarra says sincerely with a smile. 

Elias can’t help but smile as well and heads over to the counter to make coffee, “Alright, Crisostomo, would you like a cup of coffee?” 

“Yes, please and thank you.” Elias nods and makes two cups of coffee.

They sit on the table when breakfast is ready and decided to get to know each other a little better as they eat, especially now that they’ll be spending most of their time together. 

“So what do you do, actually?” Ibarra asks.

“I’m just a boatman here in San Diego. You?”

“Well, I just came back from Europe so here in San Diego, I’m a mere citizen like everyone else.”

Elias chuckles, “You do know your family is quite big in this town?”

Ibarra smiles, “Yes, but that is not important to me.”

“You’re with Maria Clara, right? She has been the talk of the town since she came—everyone is so enamored by her beauty.” 

Ibarra smiles and looks down, almost as if he was the one being complimented. “Yes, that’s right.”

“Well, I guess that’s correct, her beauty is fit for your looks as well,” Elias says and smirks. 

Ibarra remained his composure and says, “Thank you. How about you? Do you have a lover as well?” 

Elias frowns, “Sadly, no, she was never a lover because we never made it so. I couldn’t bear getting her into the mess of my past. She left for Mindoro the day before.” 

Ibarra’s face falls, “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I apologize for bringing it up.”

“It’s alright.”

They were silent for a while until Ibarra stands up takes both of their plates to the sink. Elias starts to protest but Ibarra was already at the sink before he could say anything.

“So, what do you want to do today?” Ibarra says as he washes the dishes.

“As my master, shouldn’t you be the one telling me that?” Elias smirks.

“Well, you’re not wrong. Anyway, I’ve got arnis training later in the afternoon.” 

“You have arnis training?” Elias says dubiously.

“Yes, of course, I’ve been arnis training since I was a child. Do you not play any sports?” 

“I box sometimes when I’ve got time.” 

Ibarra hums. An image of Elias boxing suddenly comes to mind, sweaty and breathing heavily. He quickly shakes the thought away and finishes the washing.

Elias stays at the house when Ibarra went out to do some errands and said he’ll be back before they go to his arnis training. He decides to look around the house. He starts at the living room. From here, he can already tell they are rich but there is an air of humility in the house despite their wealth. There was a portrait of Don Rafael hanging on the wall, one of a beautiful woman, and another of a young Crisostomo. He sees more family pictures and pegged the woman on the wall as Crisostomo’s mother. He now knows where Crisostomo got his good looks from—his mother was beautiful while his father was comely as well. He smiles at the sight of a picture of the three of them looking happy as ever. 

He roams everywhere in the house and wonders how people so humble and kind get so unlucky. He stops himself from thinking too much about Don Rafael’s fate as it is a very sensitive topic until now. He decides to sit in the living room and read a book he found in one of the bookshelves in the office.  

The room is quiet and nothing but the sound of wind blowing outside, the quiet murmur of a town, and the singing of birds outside the window can be heard. Soon, Elias has fallen asleep on the chair with the book open on his lap.

Ibarra comes home to this sight and couldn’t help but chuckle at Elias state of slumber. His mouth is open and quiet snores are released. His hair is messy and his eyes flutter as if he’s dreaming. On here, Ibarra sees that Elias has very long eyelashes—a piece of information he did not know was vital.

He did not want to wake him but he had to. He steps forward and the floor creaks, causing Elias to startle awake, the book almost flying off his lap.

Elias blinked a few times before he can see that Ibarra is in front of him, looking like he is trying to hide his smile.

“Have I fallen asleep?” Elias asked, his voice rough from his small nap.

Ibarra stopped trying and smiled at him, “Yes, I’m afraid so. Come on, freshen up and let’s go.” Ibarra starts to turn away but stops halfway, “Also, try tying your hair back. It might look better for your act.” He winks and walks away.

Elias sits there for a moment, registering what just happened. He stands up quickly after realizing he’s been sitting there doing nothing and goes to freshen himself up. If he did tie his hair back, it was certainly not because of Ibarra’s smile and wink at him.

Ibarra waits outside of the house for Elias, signaling his carriage to wait for a while. The image of Elias sleeping soundly is still in his mind, still making him laugh until Elias emerges out of the house. 

“Let’s go?” Elias asks. Ibarra noticed he tied his hair back and the cheeky glint in his eyes as he says, “Oh—Shall we go, Mr. Ibarra?” Elias bows his head for added dramatic effect.

Ibarra smiles and follows Elias to their carriage. Elias opens the door for Ibarra and lets him in first before sitting beside him.

It seems that the two young men are getting along pretty well. Even though they’ve only met properly last night, they’ve already established a light-hearted and friendly atmosphere among themselves. And if there is something different gleaming in their eyes, that is nobody’s business.


	3. Get Those Batons Away From Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Refer to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVsaM-NUU2g)

They arrive at the place where Ibarra has been training for _arnis_ ever since he was a child. It was a house-turned-training-area which made it feel more comfortable for him as he was growing up. They both go in and Ibarra leaves Elias at the seats to go change.

Elias looks at the place. It is a two-storey house where the second floor is the actual house and the first floor is the training area. The area is empty except for the matting on the ground and training equipment. The place takes Elias back to when he used to box to release stress and agony. It doesn’t hurt to look back but there’s a familiar feeling of exhilaration when training that is flooding his chest.

Ibarra emerges from the changing room and gave him his clothes, he comes in close and whispers to Elias, “Now, you do have to act like my servant.”

Elias can only nod and hope that Ibarra did not notice him gulping when he came in close. No, Elias cannot understand his own behavior too.

He watches on as Ibarra approaches the mentor and greets him. He hears him introduce him as Pico and he greeted the mentor when he looked at him. Luckily, Elias brought the book he was reading earlier so he does not get bored as Ibarra trained. Little did Elias know, he’ll find something more interesting than that book of his, and he will _not_ get bored at all.

Ibarra holds the _arnis_ and it all feels so familiar and nostalgic. He can already feel his excitement bubble up as he is taking position opposite his mentor. The mentor makes the first move and it starts. He feels like he’s dancing as the muscle memory kicks in. He always felt like training is like a dance—every move is met by another, the sound of feet, batons, and breaths is your music,  you go forward and they go backward and vice versa. You never actually want to hurt your opponent, you just dance with them.

Elias does a double-take at Ibarra. He looks over his book and watches Ibarra in action. He is strong and fast, every move done with confidence and power. There is something exhilarating watching him work, it’s like he’s the one opposite Ibarra, countering every move and trying to keep up with him. There is also something about the tight-fitting clothes he’s wearing for some unknown reason.

Elias furrows his eyebrows in confusion and tried to focus on the book he’s reading. He tries but he is instead focused on Ibarra’s movements. The way his arms and legs move, his chest going up and down from heavy breathing, sweat dripping from his forehead to his cheek to his neck. His hair bounces as he moves, as if it could be the softest thing in the world. Of course, he cannot forget about the way Ibarra’s but—

“What is this?” Elias whispers to himself frantically.

He doesn’t understand why his thoughts are so preoccupied by the man before him. Even before, the day of the dinner party. As he was walking home after disappearing from the party, all he was thinking about was this young man who saved his life from a crocodile. How his smile lights up the room and not even the undeniable beauty of his girlfriend can compete with that. Maybe that’s just Elias’ take on it, really.

Elias is staring—not reading—at his book with a look of frustration that Ibarra noticed as he walks up to him.

“Pico?” Ibarra calls out to the crazed-looking man in front of him.

Elias doesn’t respond, seeming to not notice that Ibarra is already standing in front of him.

“Pico?” He calls out again and pats his shoulder to get his attention.

Elias finally responds by flinching then looking up at Ibarra. He looks at him with the frustrated look still on his face until he realizes what was happening and relaxed his face.

“Are you alright, Pico? You were staring at your book quite intensely, has it offended you?” Ibarra jokes. He chuckles at Elias’ poker face and sits next to him. “Will you please get me a towel and a glass of water?” Ibarra requests with an apologetic look on his face.

Elias looks at him like he was affronted, “What—” and realizes that the mentor was still the room with them, so he instead says, “Well, yes, of course, sir.”

Elias stands up and goes to where Ibarra told him to go. He gets what Ibarra asked for and gives it to him.

“Thank you,” Ibarra says kindly and starts wiping all the sweat from his face and neck.

Elias had to sit down and try to focus on his book, for Christ’s sake. He still can’t help sneaking looks at him. It’s just that the way Ibarra looks all sweaty and heavy-breathing, the way he’s wiping himself with a towel, and the way his profile looks while drinking water—it makes Elias feel…something.

Ibarra left the glass and the towel on his seat before standing up and starting training again. He flashed a smile at Elias before he turns away and runs up to his mentor.

Elias reads his book with great force as Ibarra continues training. If he did steal glances at the man here and there, he will deny any and all assumptions.

An hour or two later, Ibarra finishes up and runs back to Elias who was now halfway through his book (with great effort). He takes his clothes from Elias and goes to change. A few moments later, they’re on the carriage on the way back to the house.

“So, how was I?” Ibarra asks, looking at Elias expectantly.

“What?” Elias says, looking dazed and unfocused.

“How was my training?” Ibarra repeats himself.

Elias still doesn’t look at him when he says, “Oh, you were—you were good.”

Ibarra doesn’t notice the stuttering and stops himself from jumping up like an excited dog, “Really?”

“Yeah, you were,” Elias says and finally looks at Ibarra with a smile.

“Good. You should train with me next time,” Ibarra calmly says and look back on the road. He did not expect himself to say that.

Ibarra imagines Elias opposite him in the training area. He sees them both, wielding batons and doing what he did just a few minutes ago with his mentor. He doesn’t think he can win. Either Elias is really good at _arnis_ or Ibarra is just weak in the knees.

Elias quickly looks on the road as well and manages to let out a strained, “Sure.”

They get back to the house and Elias offers to make dinner while Ibarra changes his clothes. Elias makes _sinigang_ and sets up the table as he waits for the dish to cook.

Ibarra appears and sits down at the _kabisera_.

“That smells good! I didn’t know you can cook—I guess I did pick a good servant,” Ibarra says jokingly. He wouldn’t mind having Elias’ cooking every day.

“Of course I can cook! Who do you think I am?”

Elias serves the dish and they both finally eat dinner. Ibarra is impressed by his cooking and Elias is beaming. They talk and joke and laugh until they finish eating and even a little while after that. Ibarra mentions a small gathering with Maria Clara and their friends tomorrow and hopes that they don’t get caught when they get there.

“We should probably get some sleep now, since we do have some place to go to tomorrow,” Ibarra says after a long time of chit-chatting with Elias.

“Yes, we should,” Elias agrees.

They bid good night to each other with happy and fulfilled smiles that lasts until they’re lying on their beds. They sleep well and easy that night.

Here’s the thing, they both have no idea what the hell is happening right now but one thing is for sure: they are both absolutely smitten.


	4. The Women are Always Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> morals? i don't know her. we don't need no separation of boys and girls up in here.

Sunlight is seeping through the white curtains and filling the room with light. Everything is warm and light for the first time since Ibarra got here in San Diego. It feels quite nice, actually.

Ibarra opens his eyes and sighs contentedly. He feels a weight next to him so he turns and sees Elias sleeping soundly next to him. He smiles and closes his eyes again.

He realizes what he just saw and he opens his eyes quickly. The bed is empty except for him. He sighs—in disappointment, if he’s being honest.

He looks up at the ceiling and thinks deeply. He really doesn’t want to be confused anymore. Everything is so weird lately since he met Elias. He can’t think properly without Elias suddenly appearing in his thoughts—how he smiles when he’s looking at him, how his jaw looks like something he’d like to touch, how his jaw is not the only thing he’d like to touch.

Ibarra shakes his head, trying to get Elias out of his mind. But, predictably, he couldn’t. That man is going to be there for as long as he can.

He realizes this was how he felt about Maria Clara when they were children and only discovering how feelings work. Could this be something like that? Could he have feelings for Elias as he has for Maria Clara?

Or feelings he had.

He hasn’t been feeling the same for Maria Clara since he came back. It felt like it had faded when he was in Europe. It’s nothing big, he’s just human. They were apart for a long time—it happens. He also felt like Maria Clara was faking it, too. Their interactions feeling all too saccharine—staged, strained, forced. He doesn’t blame her, either.

He hears something from outside his room which means Elias may be up already. Suddenly, Ibarra is nervous.

 _How in the world am I going to tell him?_ He thinks. What if he freaks out and runs away? If he tells someone, they’ll think Ibarra is crazy. He’ll probably get mocked and scrutinized.

Elias’ smiles and movement toward him tells him differently. He knows he’s not the only one acting oddly. He knows those looks because that’s exactly how he looks himself—a lovesick fool. There’s nothing as amazing as knowing someone you like shares the same feelings as you.

But of course, Ibarra still has a conscience. He doubts that any of that is true.

 _What if that’s just how he acts towards a good friend?_ He thinks. It’s not entirely impossible. Maybe Elias is just a fond friend.

Ibarra is frustrated again and he hasn’t even gotten out of bed yet.

Elias is in the kitchen already. He is preparing breakfast today. He makes sure it’s only a light meal since they are going to a gathering with Ibarra and Maria Clara’s friends later.

He is going to make the best _champorado_ and _tuyo_ Ibarra will ever taste in his life. He would’ve made a better breakfast meal but there aren’t a lot of food in the pantry so he had to compromise.

Elias had a dream the other night that opened his eyes about what he was feeling lately.

He and Ibarra were in a boat under the pale moonlight. The river was sprinkled with the reflection of stars in the sky. There was no one but the two of them. No _guardia civil_ , no _kura_ , no one out to get them. Just them—smiling at each other, feeling content in each other’s presence.

He woke up feeling so happy, like he was floating on a cloud. It all felt so sugary and cliché but he couldn’t deny it.

He also has no idea how to tell Ibarra how he feels. Ibarra might get disgusted and make him leave. No, now that he knows how he feels, he doesn’t want to leave. Even if he won’t ever tell him, that’s fine. As long as he’s here with him, keeping each other safe. But oh, how he wants to tell him the truth and hear the same thing back.

Elias startles out of his thoughts when he hears Ibarra coming out of his room. 

“What’re you cooking?” Ibarra asks and Elias turns to him.

 _You look lovely_ , they both want to say but didn’t.

“ _Champorado_ ,” Elias answers and turns back to the stove as Ibarra goes to the counter to get plates and utensils to set the table.

“Did you know, my mother used to cook that for me all the time?” Ibarra says with a smile to himself.

“Really? I might have to apologize to your mom because this is going to be the best you’ve ever had,” Elias says proudly. 

Ibarra chuckles and leans on the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. “Oh yeah? Let me be the judge of that, then.” 

“How ‘bout you sit down, _Señor_?” Elias says, turning to Ibarra and emphasizing the _Señor_. He sees Ibarra’s eyebrow twitch up. He keeps a smile to himself.

They set the table and Elias serves the _champorado_ and _tuyo_. Elias waits for Ibarra to taste it before he also takes a spoonful.

Ibarra swallows and keeps his eyes closed. Elias is just watching silently, almost chuckling at how dramatic the man before him is. Ibarra finally opens his eyes and looks up.

“Mother, I am truly sorry. I feel like I have betrayed you. But I can’t deny that this man here is right. This _champorado_ is the best I’ve ever had,” Ibarra says to the ceiling, and he wasn’t even lying.

“I told you so,” Elias beams with a proud smile. _Damn it, stop it, you adorable moron_ , He thinks to himself.

They eat and talk like normal. They manage to keep it on the low about the newly-discovered feelings they have for each other. Eveything is the same except for the increase in fond looks and smiles at each other. It’s all too tooth-aching to watch, really.

In this moment right here, they’re facing each other, smiling, everything is warm and cozy. They hope it could be like this all the time. Everything feels right in the world when it’s just them. 

The sound from the grandfather clock in the living room startles the both of them, and they remember that there’s still the rest of the world around them. 

“It’s 1 o’ clock. The gathering is a few minutes away,” Elias reminds Ibarra who seems like he already forgot about the whole thing.

Ibarra then remembers and quickly finishes the last spoonful of his plate. He takes his and Elias’ plates, puts them in the sink and tells Elias to go get ready and meet him outside. He sprints into his bedroom.

Elias chuckles at Ibarra’s actions and goes to his bedroom as well. He tied his hair back again and did his whole _Pico_ ensemble which includes the hair tied back and clothes and shoes that look too posh on him (but looks good nonetheless). He goes and walks outside where Ibarra is already standing by the carriage. He smiles when he sees Elias walk out the door. He wouldn’t mind if every time he comes out the door, this is what he sees. God, he’s in too deep already.

What he doesn’t know is that Ibarra is already in the same void he’s in.

They don’t say anything, they just get in the car and sit in comfortable silence on the way to Maria Clara’s house.

When they get there, Tiya Isabel is the first to greet them.

“Crisostomo! How are you, _hijo_?” She says as he puts her hand onto his forehead as a sign of respect.

“I’m doing fine, Tiya. I’d like you to meet my—butler, Pico,” Ibarra says and stepping to the side so Pico may greet her as well.

Tiya Isabel finishes greeting both men and leads them inside and into the backyard where the small gathering is being held.

“Santiago isn’t here right now as he has some errands to run,” Tiya informs them.

Ibarra nods and is secretly happy about it.

The two men walk over to the table where Ibarra’s circle of friends are. Ibarra greets all of them and introduces Elias—as _Pico_ —to them.

“Hello, Crisostomo!” Maria Clara chirps. Ibarra only smiles and sits next to her. “We’re trying to think of a game to play. We’re getting quite bored.”

“We could’ve played _Gulong ng Palad_ but oh well,” Sinang says, irritation evident in her voice. She notices Elias just standing by the table awkwardly. She says kindly, “Hey, come here. Don’t just stand there, you’re welcome to join.”

Elias thanks her and sits next to her, across from Ibarra and Maria Clara. He avoids looking at them too much because just their proximity is already another dagger piercing through his chest.

“Let’s play a game of Telephone!” Iday says, sitting up suddenly from her former slouched position. 

“Yeah, okay, that sounds fun,” Albino says, sarcastically with matching eye-roll.

Iday scoffs but before the two can start fighting, Maria Clara says they should just do it for the sake of doing something.

“Alright, I’ll start,” Maria Clara decides. She thinks for a second then turns to the person to her left, Victoria, and whispers to her ear. 

Victoria passes it on to the person to her left and it goes on until it reached the other side of the table and then to Sinang. Sinang pauses for a moment after getting the message, turns to her left, smiles at Elias and whispers to his ear. 

Elias nods and looks at Ibarra who is across from him, the last person who will get the message. Ibarra smiles at him and that just made Elias’ heart beat faster. He approaches Ibarra, admittedly with slight hesitation, and starts to whisper in his ear. They are so close to each other, Elias doesn’t think he can breath, especially when Ibarra is leaning towards him. In a moment that felt too long, Elias finally finishes and draws away. He felt Ibarra’s soft hair touch his skin as he turns away, and he really doesn’t want to deal with that so he just sits down.

Ibarra pauses for dramatic effect before announcing to the table the message. “ _Wala nang hihigit pang kadakilaan sa pag-alay ng buhay sa bayan_ ,” he says in perfect Tagalog.

The table appluads and cheers, as young people do even for little things like this. They shout stuff like, “You sound like somebody I know!” or “Who— _este_ —where is your nation, Ibarra?”

Meanwhile, Elias is looking up to him like he hung the sun in the sky.

The table calms down. Albino runs and comes back with a deck of cards, suggesting they play a card game next. They agree and they play _Unggoy-ungguyan_.

By this point, Ibarra is just on auto-pilot. His mind wanders off to the man across from him who looks like he’s quite enjoying himself. He is so thankful for Sinang for making Elias feel so welcome. He makes a mental note to thank Sinang later.

Maria Clara, being the person that she is, notices this.

“Are you quite alright, Crisostomo?” Maria Clara whispers to him as she arranges her cards.

“Yeah, why? Is something wrong?” He replies, looking at her.

“Well, you’ve been acting odd lately. You sometimes stare at… things,” She says and moves her gaze to Elias.

Ibarra blushes (but he’d never admit that). “What?” He says incredulously.

Maria Clara only smiles and says, “Let’s talk later.”

Ibarra says nothing.

When later comes, they’ve already eaten lunch and the table is casually chatting.

The two sweethearts excuse themselves from the table and walk over to the swing chair by the large tree.

“I know,” Maria Clara says, cutting to the chase immediately. 

Ibarra’s eyes widen. “You know what?”

Maria Clara smiles then chuckles, “Don’t play dumb with me, love. I know you more than you think I do.”

Ibarra sighs and lets his guard down. He’s still not sure if Maria Clara is talking about what he thinks she’s talking about. Maybe he’s actually just dumb.

“I still don’t know what—” Ibarra starts but was cut off by Maria Clara.

“I know that you have a big fat crush on that boy you brought with you. Pico, right?” Maria Clara says with a genuine, sweet smile.

Ibarra hasn’t even voiced it out to himself so it’s weird hearing it aloud, especially coming from someone else and that being his supposed love of his life. He can’t help but laugh—partly because of Maria Clara’s wording, partly because he can’t believe he is that transparent, and mostly because he really is so in love with Elias.

“Alright, alright. You’re too happy, considering I’m your girlfriend and I just found out you like a guy,” Maria Clara says, faking her annoyance but smiling nonetheless.

“Should I be scared?” Ibarra says seriously now.

“At me? No, I’m actually very happy for you. About other people finding out? Yes, people will not take this lightly.”

“You’re happy for me? But what about our relationship?”

“Oh, _sus_! You know it hasn’t been the same since you left! There isn’t much of a spark now, no? All that is now being focused onto, admittedly, a very cute boy over there,” She says and points over to the table where Elias is smiling as he listens to Sinang talking about something.

Ibarra looks over and smiles. Elias then takes that moment to look over as well and smiles even wider when he sees Ibarra already looking at him.

“He likes you too, you know,” Maria Clara says, looking at the two boys and feeling warmth in her chest for something so wholesome, that she is thankful for being able to witness it.

Ibarra’s head whips back quickly, “What?”

She laughs, “Yes, he does. I can see it in his eyes, the way he looks at you. The way you look at each other. That’s how we used to look before.”

Ibarra frowns and takes a step closer to Maria Clara.

“Oh, no! Don’t get me wrong, I’m fine. I would rather see you two together, actually,” She says sincerely with a gleam in her eyes.

Ibarra smiles sadly and holds both her hands. “But… what about you?”

“Don’t worry about me, Crisostomo. I’ve—I’ve got my own…” Maria Clara trails off and looks over to the table. 

Ibarra’s eyes widen and follows Maria Clara’s gaze. She’s looking at Victoria who is happily chatting with the table.

“Oh, _Diyos ko_! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Ibarra says, suddenly feeling happy and excited, just like what Maria Clara felt about him and Elias. 

“Because I couldn’t, of course! Why didn’t _you_ tell me sooner?”

“Well, I’ve only discovered it last night!” 

“ _Ay_! You’re so slow!” 

The two laugh at their situation. They know they are both very happy for each other and are ready to support them with whatever whenever they need to. They both did not expect this to be the outcome of this conversation, but they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Maria Clara and Ibarra come back to the table with wide smiles plastered on their faces. They casually slip into the conversation.

An hour or two later, the gathering comes to a close and everyone is just ready to go home. They bid their farewells to each other and hopped into their corresponding carriages.

“Good bye, Crisostomo!” Maria Clara says with a knowing smile.

Ibarra takes her hand and kisses the top of her knuckles before giving her a smile as well as saying, “Good bye.”

Kapitan Tiago gets home in that moment and sees Ibarra immediately.

“Oh, Ibarra! You’re here!” He says as a greeting, approaching the three.

“Yes, Maria had our friends over this afternoon.”

“How could I forget? She told me that sometime yesterday. Oh well, speaking of gatherings, would you like to join us tomorrow evening? Just a small circle of people, _hijo_. Drinking, gambling, chatting. What do you say?”

Ibarra looks over to Maria Clara who only shrugs, then to Tiya Isabel at the back who nods, and then to Elias who is next to him who shrugs as well.

“Uh, sure but only if I could bring my friend here with me,” Ibarra says, pointing to Elias.

“Ah, of course you could! We’ve never met before, young man! Santiago,” He says and offers his hand to Elias.

“Pico, _Ginoo_ ,” Elias says and shakes his hand.

“Well then, it’s settled! I’ll be seeing you tomorrow evening! Good night, you two!” He says and goes back into the house.

“I don’t know what I just got us into,” Ibarra says to Maria Clara and Elias.

“I’ll take care of you,” Maria Clara says and smiles to the both of them.

They bid farewell once again before getting into the carriage.

“I have no idea what just happened,” Elias says.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t ask you before I decided,” Ibarra says, worried and sincere.

“It’s okay, I just hope we’ll be okay tomorrow,” Elias says.

“Pray to God, my friend. We’re going to need it.”

They get home and Ibarra is just ready to go to sleep already. His invitation to drink with Kapitan Tiago has been stressing him out all throughout the ride home.

“Hey, would you like some tea? I can feel your stress from here,” Elias says from the kitchen counter. He’s looking at Ibarra taking off his coat with a heavy hand to his movements.

“Shouldn’t you be stressed too?” Ibarra says and slumps on the chair.

Elias chuckles and starts on the tea. “Why would I be? I’m just a guest. You’re the boyfriend of his daughter. _Only_ daughter, might I add.” 

“Ugh, why are you doing this to me?” Ibarra buries his head into his arms that are folded on the table.

“I’m just being a good friend,” Elias says and hands over the tea.

Ibarra lifts his head up and takes the tea, “Thank you.” He sips and looks at Elias, “By the way, how’s your day? Did you feel uncomfortable around us? I hope not.”

“No, no,” Elias says after sipping some tea as well. “At first, I was kind of awkward but your friends were really nice. They welcomed me warmly though they knew I was your servant. Especially Sinang—she’s really talkative.”

“I know, right? It’s her endearing quality.”

“How ‘bout you?”

“What’s my endearing quality? Oh well, one, I’m really handsome, plus I’m intelligent—” Ibarra is a dork.

“No, you idiot, how was your day?” Elias smiles and the urge to pinch Ibarra’s cheeks in that moment was unbearable.

“Oh! My day was great! Maria Clara and I got to talk about some serious stuff and we’ve cleared some things up,” Ibarra trails off. He is _kind of_ sending out some signals to Elias and he’s hoping he’s getting it—Maria Clara and he are not together anymore.

“Oh? It did seem like you two were happy talking,” Elias says with a slight change in his voice. If Ibarra wasn’t trying to find it, he wouldn’t have noticed it.

“Yeah, we were. Since, you know, _friends_ catching up.” _Please take the hint_ , Ibarra thinks. He doesn’t. 

“Ah, yes,” Elias says and sips his tea. “Well, we better get some sleep now. I don’t think we’re going to get any tomorrow if we’re drinking with you-know-who.”

Elias winks and Ibarra is weak in the knees. He stands up and takes his cup to the sink and walks over to his room, leaving Ibarra with a quick yet lingering tap on his shoulder and a “Good night.”

Ibarra stares at his tea for a few seconds before he realizes that the probability of them getting no sleep tomorrow is getting higher and higher as hours until the occasion get shorter. He puts the cup in the sink and hurries to bed.


	5. Let's Get Turnt

The evening comes and Ibarra has been trying to calm his nerves the whole day now. He even got Tasyo into this and invited him to the occasion as well. At first, Tasyo didn’t want anything to do with it but as he thought the evening through, he knows Ibarra is going to need his help.

There’s an hour before their evening with Tiago starts, and Ibarra still hasn’t come home yet.

As for Elias, he doesn’t have much to do at home. He can’t really go outside to be safe from being recognized. So he explored the Ibarra house some more. He cleaned places he thought needed to be cleaned (which was a lot). He arranged some of the picture frames—while chuckling from the adorable young Ibarra in some of them—the little souvenirs here and there, and even the chairs. He did so carefully, so as to not to make big changes and mess up their former positions. He also opted to go to the market because the lack of food in the pantry is alarming. He was finished with about an hour and a half to spare so he decides to take a nap and read some books when he wakes. Ibarra can’t be the only bookworm in this house.

When Ibarra comes home, it’s about 30 minutes before they have to go to Tiago’s. He finds Elias drinking coffee and reading a new book. His hair is down and he’s wearing a thin—2-buttons-open—casual white shirt. The way _that_ took Ibarra’s breath away is a prime example of how Ibarra is head-over-heels for this man.

“You’re home,” Elias says without looking up. He folds the corner of the page he’s reading then looks up and smiles at Ibarra.

“Hey,” Ibarra greets, maybe a bit too breathy. A beat passes and Ibarra tries to shake the _Elias trance_ off—again, _tries_. He clears his throat. “Busy day?” He asks casually.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Elias answer and stands up to stretch his arms. By doing so, the apparently loose third button of his shirt opens which makes Ibarra quite speechless.

Elias smirks ever so slightly at Ibarra’s stunned state. “I’ll go get ready? How ‘bout you?”

 _How about we don’t get ready and you stay like that because this look right here is astonishing_ , Ibarra thinks to himself, looking at Elias up and down not-so-subtly.

Elias chuckles and snaps his fingers. “Hello? Ibarra, you there?”

Ibarra startles out of his thoughts and looks at Elias in the face. His face turns beet red which made Elias smile even more.

Elias has no idea when they started openly checking out each other with the other just smiling and going with it. But guess they’re at that point in their friendship already. It is flattering, isn’t it?

“Alright, I’m going. You get ready, too,” Elias says before walking to his room, while secretly smiling _very_ fondly at Ibarra’s cuteness.

 _I probably looked like a creep_ , Ibarra thinks to himself and quickly runs to his room.

He shakes the horrifying thought away and finally gets ready. He goes for a quick wash before changing his clothes from this morning. When he comes out, Elias is already at the living room, looking at himself in the small wall mirror and trying to fix his tie.

“Hey, let me,” Ibarra says and gently turns Elias to him.

Elias’ hands drop as Ibarra’s go up and take a hold of his tie. He’s looking at it in deep focus as he knots it. His hands are gentle and light as he works on the tie.

Their faces are almost excruciatingly close. Elias looks down at the smaller man before as he works on his tie. He looks at the details of Ibarra’s face that he hasn’t seen before. He knew Ibarra was quite a beauty but, wow, to be this close to him, he is truly a work of art.

But Elias doesn’t speak for himself. The only reason Ibarra does _not_ look up is because he knows Elias’ offensively attractive face—re: really pretty eyelashes—will distract him and will make him do something he’ll probably regret.

“All done,” Ibarra says and admires his work (and maybe also the man before him).

Elias releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Hopefully, Ibarra didn’t notice.

Ibarra finally looks up at Elias’ eyes and sees that he’s smiling. “Why are you smiling?”

“Nothing,” Elias says. “Thanks for that. Shall we go, _Señor_?”

Ibarra flinches a bit at the name. There’s just something about the way Elias says _Señor_. He really _cannot_ take it. He shakes the thought away and puts on his most charming smile.

“Lead the way, Pico.”

 

 

They arrive at Kapitan Tiago’s house. The first thing they see is Tasyo standing outside waiting for them.

“Ah, Mang Tasyo! Thank God you came!” Ibarra says and hugs the old man.

“Of course, _hijo_! I don’t think you can handle it up there,” Tasyo says and smiles at Ibarra. He looks to his side and sees Elias standing awkwardly but still with a polite smile on his face.

Ibarra notices and quickly introduces him. “Mang Tasyo, this is my butler, Pico.”

Elias shakes Tasyo’s hand and greets him.

Tasyo looks at the two with a questioning gaze but says nothing.

The trio walk up the house and they were greeted by Tiya Isabel. Ibarra kissed her cheeks, Elias takes her hand to _mano_ , and Tasyo…

“Tasyo, what are you doing here?!” Tiya Isabel says in shock that turns to joy in seeing an old friend.

“Isabel! It’s been a while, yeah?” Tasyo says and kissed her cheek. “Crisostomo invited me.”

The two continue to laugh and talk while Elias and Ibarra just stare at them dumbfounded. Tiya notices and smiles at the two boys.

“Oh! Tasyo and I used to live across from each other when we were kids. We used to play all the time,” Tiya explains. The boys only nod and smile. “Anyway, let’s go inside, shall we?”

Tiya Isabel leads them to the dining area where the gathering is taking place. They walk in and Kapitan Tiago immediately stands up from his seat in the _kabisera_.

“Ibarra! Pico! You made it! And you brought Tasyo, my old friend!” Tiago says enthusiastically as he approaches the three and give them big hugs. The enthusiasm is then proved to be from alcohol.

“Good evening, Tiyo,” Ibarra says and takes a seat when Tiago said to, the other two following suit.

“You just caught me playing some _tong-its_ with my friends here,” Tiago says as he lifts his cards once again and puts a cigar back in his mouth.

Maria Clara walks into the room to greet her friends, a tray with more drinks in her hands.

“Hey, Crisostomo!” She says after she puts down the tray and hugs him. “Pico!” She also hugs him. “Mang Tasyo!” She takes his hand to _mano_.

“Ah, Maria…” Tiago says and kisses his daughter’s cheek. “Thank you for the drinks, _anak_.”

Maria Clara only smiles and nods. She looks to her friends again and waves to them before she goes out of the room.

“The drinks— _hic_ —help yourself,” Tiago says to his new guests, mumbling and alcohol clearly affecting his system.

They get glasses and took the bottle from the table. Ibarra reads the label of the scotch and raises his eyebrow.

“Imported from Spain,” he says under his breath. Elias and Tasyo smirk as they all pour some in their glasses.

“Cheers!” Ibarra says and the three raise their glasses before downing the glass.

The burning starts in their throats and they cringe from it but they pour some more.

“Better get those drinks coming if we want to get through the night,” Tasyo whispers to their group as the wise man that he is.

A couple more drinks later, they all end up playing poker (drunkenly) and have moved on to a bottle of _lambanog_.

“Don’t drink too much or you’ll get so drunk and won’t remember this whole night,” Elias whispers to Ibarra as it is his first time drinking _lambanog_.

“What? It’s not that bad, is it?” Ibarra says and takes a sip of his glass. He swallows with a bit of struggle and exhales through his mouth. “Okay, it is. Thanks.”

Elias smiles fondly and pats his back. “I’ll look after you.”

Ibarra stops and looks at Elias. He’s sober for a second and smiles genuinely until someone raises their bet and he gets back to playing.

Elias keeps his arm on the back of Ibarra’s chair for the rest of the game.

When everybody was having fun and more than a little bit drunk, the unexpected happens. It was like a slow-motion scene from a really bad movie when Padre Damaso walks in the room, all haughty and just downright horrible. He had a disturbingly big smile on his face when he walks in and sits on the _kabisera_ Tiago was previously sitting on.

“Good evening, _mga_ _kumpadre_!” Damaso says in a weirdly enthusiastic way. He eyes Ibarra and smiles teasingly at him.

“Ibarra! Glad to have you here!” He says, just to be annoying.

Ibarra’s hand clenched on his lap. Elias notices and pats his back reassuringly.

Maria Clara walks in again and brings a new glass for Damaso and a bottle of Spanish brandy. She puts those on the table and stops to take Damaso’s offered hand to _mano_. She greets everyone again before walking away.

 _God, how I wish to just be with my friends than to be in this table_ , Ibarra thinks.

Damaso pours himself a glass of brandy and downs it in one go. He drops the glass on the table with a loud thud and a slam. All for the dramatics obviously.

“Alright! Let’s play!” He shouts.

They play a new round of poker with Damaso being the dealer. He, Tiago, and Tiago’s friends start chit-chatting while the other three keep quiet as they feel the tension from Damaso and Ibarra.

Ibarra survives for a few minutes until Damaso acknowledges him.

“Ibarra, how are you, _hijo_?” Damaso says, intention heard from his voice.

“I’m fine, Padre,” Ibarra says respectfully.

“Is San Diego how you remember it?”

“No, actually. There are a lot of things that have changed.”

“Oh? How so?”

“Well, for one, you are not the _kura_ of this town anymore.”

Damaso’s face falls into a quietly irritated one.

“Hmm… There are some new buildings around. There are some other things that I couldn’t pinpoint right now. Anyway, at least there are some that’ve stayed the same. My neighborhood, the people, Maria Clara.” The alcohol in his system caused him to babble but he managed to kept the slur to a minimum.

“Ahh… I can see you’ve made a friend,” Damaso says as he looks at Elias who keeps a stone face. “What’s your name, _hijo_?”

“My name’s Pico. I’m actually _Señor_ Ibarra’s butler,” Elias says as respectfully as he could.

Damaso’s gaze turns back to Ibarra. “Hm… I guess you’ve gotten lazy then. And to have your _butler_ be a friend,” Damaso scoffs, spitting the word as if it’s an insult. Ibarra clenches his fist again. This time, Elias puts his hand over his fist. “Anyway, I didn’t think you would make friends after what your father did.”

“My father had done nothing wrong,” Ibarra says with conviction. He holds Elias’ hand that was over his for support. He downs whatever was left in his glass of _lambanog_. The more drunk he gets, the less he’ll have to tolerate the imbecile before him. He pours some brandy on his glass. A mixture of different alcohols in his system is really not his number one problem right now.

“You say that but you weren’t even here when it happened.” Damaso scoffs.

He would never let Damaso get to him but _that_ hurt him so he drinks. The burn from the brandy is welcomed and much more appreciated than whatever Damaso has to say.

“Let me get you up to date, yeah?” Damaso says.

By this point, everyone is looking down or looking elsewhere, just not at Damaso or Ibarra. Elias is looking at his and Ibarra’s clasped hands, hidden under the table on Ibarra’s lap. Tasyo is looking at his hands that are fumbling with his glass.

“Your father killed a man. He was a heretic and a subversive. He was an enemy of the church and the country. Everyone had something to say about him because he was that vile. I get it, seeing as your ancestors had wicked written all over them. I wouldn’t be surprised if you turn out like him.”

“That’s enough, Padre,” Tasyo speaks up.

“Oh, Anastacio, you’re here. How can you stand up for a child of a criminal?”

“He was falsely accused,” Ibarra mumbles after downing yet another glass.

“What? Speak up, _hijo_.”

“He was falsely accused! He was a decent, honorable man,” Ibarra says, looking into Damaso’s eyes now. He will not let his father's name be mudded over by the mouth of a sick priest.

“Evidence will disagree, Crisostomo. I understand, it must be hard accepting the fact that your father was not who you thought he was. He was a criminal—cruel, ignorant, and evil. I guess he wouldn’t say that to you when you were a child because how could he?” Damaso laughs, a laugh coming deep from his belly. It fills the room and everyone tenses.

Before anyone can begin to notice or maybe just think about it even, Ibarra already has a knife to Damaso’s throat. Damaso gasps as Ibarra grips his collar. He can see red in Ibarra’s eyes.

“You have no right to say that to my father,” Ibarra says fiercely, holding the knife closer to Damaso’s neck.

Suddenly, Maria Clara is in the room. She holds Ibarra’s arms and stops him from doing any harm.

“Stop, Crisostomo,” Maria Clara says.

Ibarra softens but keeps his head up. He steals the bottle of _lambanog_ from the table as he leaves with Elias and Tasyo following him. No one dared to say a word until Damaso starts fuming once again.

“Crisostomo, what have you done! _Naku_ , you’ll get in big trouble, _hijo_ ,” Tasyo says in a concerned tone.

“I know,” Ibarra says and gulps from the bottle.

Elias has been quiet ever since the mention of Ibarra’s ancestors. Ibarra notices Elias’ unusual aura and offers him the bottle which he takes and drinks from as well.

“ _Diyos ko_ , Crisostomo! As much as I love _lambanog_ , you can’t drink your problems away. Your actions will cause very immense consequences!” Tasyo says, his voice filled with worry.

“I can and I will,” Ibarra says defiantly.

A few blocks more and they’re in front of Tasyo’s house. Tasyo stands by his door looking agitated for the two boys in front of him. He almost wants to look over them the whole night, just so they don’t do anything stupid. He opts to look over to the more sober of the two.

“Pico, look after him, will you?” Tasyo says, looking at him with full trust.

Elias stands up straight and nods.

“Thank you. Good night, you two. Don’t do anything stupid, for the love of God,” Tasyo says finally before he goes into his house.

Ibarra takes Elias’ hand and drags him to start walking again.

“Where are we going?” Elias asks, trying to not get distracted by Ibarra’s hand holding his. _Or his buttocks that is right in front of me_ , his drunken brain might add.

“Arnis,” Ibarra says. “You owe me a game.”

“Why now?”

“I need to let off steam.”

They don’t talk until they get there.

Ibarra immediately takes off his coat and Elias follows suit. He takes batons for himself and throws a pair for Elias who catches it and undoubtedly has no idea what he’s in for.

“Ready?” Ibarra says.

Elias notices that he’s still very quiet. He hasn’t seen the cheeky and sure-of-himself Ibarra he knows since Damaso walked into that wretched room. It’s only been a few hours but he’s already missing Ibarra’s smile. God, this is really not the time to think about that.

He takes the bottle of _lambanog_ and takes three gulps before wiping his mouth and taking his stance. He looks at Ibarra though he’s dizzy and he’s pretty sure Ibarra is too.

“Ready.”

Ibarra takes the first move, working his batons in a skilled and graceful way, and Elias counters it. Ibarra does more offense moves as he's letting off steam. Though Ibarra is much more trained than Elias, he seems to be doing good enough with countering Ibarra’s rage-driven moves.

Elias notices that through the alcohol-glazed eyes, there are tears starting to form. Now all he wants is to drop the batons and hug him until he’s okay again. But this is what Ibarra wants, so he lets him.

There’s no talking. There is only the sound of batons clashing together, heavy breathing, frantic footsteps along a matted floor, and maybe a bit of sniffling. Elias can’t take the silence anymore.

“Ibarra,” he tries. Ibarra doesn’t say anything. He calls him again and again and again until Ibarra takes one last hit and drops his arms.

“What?!” He shouts and looks up at Elias. There are tears streaming down his face and Elias can’t bear to see him like this and not be able to do anything about it. He drops the batons to the floor.

“You can’t stay silent forever,” Elias says softly, trying to console him.

Ibarra drops the batons and clenches his jaw. He takes the bottle of _lambanog_ and drinks some more.

“My father is—He’s never been any of the things that _bastard_ said he was,” Ibarra says. Elias lets out a sigh of relief.

“I know.”

“He has always been good and kind. He always wanted to help people. Everyone liked him because of that,” Ibarra falls to the floor. He sits and runs a hand through his face. “He did not deserve any of the things they did to him.”

Elias sits down next to him, their sides touching. Ibarra offers the bottle and he takes it as he waits for Ibarra to speak again.

“And… and I wasn’t here to defend him for it,” Ibarra says regretfully and he breaks down. More tears come rushing through his eyes as what Damaso said a while ago keep repeating in his head.

_You weren’t even here when it happened._

“If I was here, he would probably still be alive. We would have avoided all of this to happen,” Ibarra says through tears and sniffling. Elias had to use all the power left in his body

“No. Ibarra, this is not your fault,” Elias says sincerely and looks at him.

“I know, but I could’ve helped him through this mess,” Ibarra sighs as he remembers another thing Damaso said. “He is not like the rest of our family,” he mumbles.

“You know, my family knew quite well what your family has done,” Elias says and laughs half-heartedly. Ibarra looks at him shocked and sorry  but sees him looking down at his hands. “I hated them for so long and I couldn’t believe I’d find home from one of them. Your father is the greatest man I’d ever known and it was like he was my father as well.” He looks up at Ibarra and sees beautiful brown eyes looking right at his. He smiles softly. “You will not turn out to be like the rest of your family but you will turn out like your father,” he says in such a genuine and sincere way it made Ibarra’s heart flutter.

Suddenly, they were very aware of the lack of space between them. The few inches it’ll take to close the gap between them. How they can almost feel each other’s breath on their lips. Elias can see how truly beautiful this man before him is, like when he was tying his tie. His eyes are shining from the moonlight seeping through the window and, oh, how his pink lips glimmer and seem like they’re calling out to him.

Ibarra notices Elias’ gaze on his lips and doesn’t realize he was moving closer until he felt soft lips against his. The alcohol in his brain doesn’t mind the taste of _lambanog_ in his mouth or the wet streaks of tears on his cheeks. It’s so cheesy but there are sparks flying everywhere and butterflies are in his stomach (or maybe that’s his liver screaming at him). He has imagined this moment for so long and now here they are.

Admittedly, he imagined his first kiss with Elias to be more romantic than this—under the stars, probably on a boat, just after they went from a dinner date. But a kiss is a kiss, and he’d rather kiss Elias drunkenly than not at all.

They stay unmoving for a few seconds before they draw back and look at each other’s eyes again. Ibarra doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol that is making him do this but he kisses Elias again, now with more confidence and less soft than before. Fortunately, Elias kisses him back the same way and _thank God_ for alcohol.

Hormones come crashing in and Ibarra straddles Elias, much to both of their surprise. Ibarra’s hand touches Elias’ cheek as the kiss deepens and becomes more desperate. Elias couldn’t believe this is happening but the alcohol in him makes him not care at all as he puts both his hands on Ibarra’s hips.

A few seconds later, Elias starts feeling numb from Ibarra’s weight so he holds Ibarra’s thighs around his waist and quickly stands up without breaking the kiss. He pins Ibarra onto the wall without letting him go. By this point, he will never let Ibarra go.

Ibarra had to draw back, partially because he needed to catch his breath from the kiss but it’s honestly because what Elias did was breathtakingly hot. It seems that Elias doesn’t want Ibarra to breathe because after he draws back, Elias moves onto kissing Ibarra’s jaw and neck. Ibarra feels less embarrased about the heat pooling somewhere below his stomach when he feels something hard hitting his bottom. He groans when Elias bit and sucked on his neck, probably leaving a bruise there.

Elias regrets to have his and Ibarra’s first kiss and first _whatever_ be alcohol-driven but he can’t stop himself and there’s really no turning back.  

“Do you want to go home?” Ibarra—finally—whispers hotly into Elias’ ear.

As much as Elias does not want to stop, he doesn’t want to continue this here in Ibarra’s training room, so he agrees. He gives one last kiss to Ibarra before letting him go gently and letting him call the carriage back home as he gets their coats.

Now comes the hardest part: trying to keep their hands away from each other the entire ride home. They both finish the bottle of _lambanog_ to help them through it.


	6. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drinking game:  
> take a shot every time they say the other is beautiful

Maybe it’s the utter unbearableness of the ride home or just the overwhelming need to touch Ibarra’s skin but whatever it is, Elias is suddenly sober. The click of the door closing signals the walls the alcohol built up crashing down. Everything feels real—this is not just a dream or his imagination, it’s really Ibarra in front of him. He touches his cheek to make sure it’s truly the love of his life looking up at him like that with the moonlight on his face and his lips free to kiss.

So he does. Elias kisses him like he means it. It’s soft and close-mouthed, unlike the kiss they shared in the training room. He feels light and heavy at the same time, the way you’d feel when you kiss the person you love for the first time (and be sober for it). He draws back and looks at Ibarra’s eyes, smiling softly.

Ibarra is still dazed from the emotional intensity of the kiss that it took him a few seconds to realize how Elias is looking at him. “What? Why are you smiling like that?”

“Nothing,” Elias lies, his smile going almost dopey. He sees the look of confusion in Ibarra’s face and he laughs. “It’s just that, this whole situation,” he gestures between the two of them, “is only now sinking in.”

Ibarra follows Elias’ hands as it pointed to the two of them. They are currently standing with their bodies flush together. Elias is leaning on the door. Ibarra’s hand rests on Elias’ chest and he realizes he can feel his heartbeat on the palm of his hand and how it’s in sync with his own. Elias’ hand is on his hip. There’s a purple bruise starting to form on Elias’ neck and his pink lips are very much swollen—all because of _him_. Ibarra can’t tear his eyes away from Elias’ and it’s like a cold bucket of water being thrown over him. He’s sober and he’s awake. This is happening.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined this happening,” Ibarra says like he almost can’t believe it himself, looking down at his hand on Elias’ chest as he tries to hide his cheeks coloring.

“Actually, I do,” Elias says with a love-drunk smile on his face.

Ibarra takes that moment to look up and see that smile on Elias. He’s never seen anyone as beautiful as this and he’s lucky enough to have him in his arms. He dons the same smile.

They stand there just looking at each other, smiling like loved-up idiots. They realize it after a few seconds and start laughing like teenage boys.

“ _Diyos ko_!” Ibarra says happily, peppering Elias with soft and quick kisses on the lips. “Why did we wait having to finish a whole bottle of _lambanog_ before we did this?” He says through kisses.

“I have no idea. You had a bottle in your cabinet since I first got here,” Elias says. Ibarra laughs.

They’re both glad they’re truly awake for this. They wouldn’t want their first romantic interaction be purely alcohol-driven. (It’s only at least half alcohol-driven.) Now it actually feels real when all their feelings for each other come flooding in and then be welcomed wholeheartedly.

They draw back from the kiss and Elias looks at Ibarra with the fondest smile on his face.

“What?” Ibarra says, blushing with Elias’ full attention on him.

“I’m just happy you’re smiling again. A while ago, you were crying and I couldn’t bear to see you like that. I wanted to hug you until you felt better,” Elias says, his smile lessening as the memory of that comes to mind.

Ibarra smiles softly as he puts his hand on Elias’ cheek. Elias leans into it instinctively. He gives him one quick kiss before drawing back and showing a teasing smile which Elias raises his eyebrow to.

“Well, how ‘bout you take me to bed and start making me feel better?” Ibarra says almost devilishly as he wiggles his eyebrows.

Elias laughs at Ibarra’s cheekiness and kisses his nose.

“Do you always get what you want?” Elias asks rhetorically but Ibarra answers anyway.

“Yes.”

Elias smiles. Yes, he does—Elias will make sure of it. So, he lets Ibarra take his hand and lead him to his bedroom. There’s an overwhelming feeling of excitement and nervousness in him that is not unlike what Ibarra is feeling.

The door closes and the world shrinks to just that bedroom. There’s only them—right now, right here.

To help with his nerves, Ibarra felt the need to lighten the mood a bit. “So, here we are,” Ibarra says as he lets go of Elias’ hand and walks forward, taking his coat off and throwing it somewhere. “Feel free to make yourself at home— _umph_ ,” he gets cut off when he’s suddenly being turned and engulfed by Elias’ arms. “Hello,” he says instead, noticing that Elias has already taken his coat off. He shuts up when Elias kisses him, one that is sure to sweep him off his feet genuinely as Elias gently throws him on the bed.

The kiss is slow—sentimental, passionate, and sensual all at the same time. They’re not fooling around anymore, this is _real_. Elias licks Ibarra’s bottom lip and Ibarra opens his mouth, gladly welcoming Elias’ tongue with his. Who cares about alcohol breath anyway? The drunken feeling the two are getting is not from the alcohol anymore, but rather from the kiss itself.

Soon enough, the kiss turns heated and rough. Their movements are more needy and urgent. They’re breathing heavily and their hips are thrusting into each other’s. Finally, Elias couldn’t take it anymore so he draws back, leaning back so he can take his shirt off. Ibarra props himself up and starts taking his shirt off as well. The fuss of unbuttoning their shirts is a big inconvenience.

“We really didn’t think this through,” Ibarra says breathlessly.

“Nope,” Elias agrees.

When their shirts are off and thrown away, Elias dives back in but Ibarra stops him.

“We should probably take our pants off now too,” Ibarra says, already starting to take his off.

“You’re right,” Elias says and gets off of Ibarra to take his off.

Once their pants are off and they’re left in their underwear, Elias climbs on top of Ibarra again. They look at each up and down, the need in their eyes growing darker.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Elias says as he kisses Ibarra again.

“Not so bad yourself,” Ibarra says.

Elias slides down to kiss from Ibarra’s mouth to his jaw, neck, shoulder, collarbones, then to his chest. Ibarra moans louder than expected when Elias licked his nipple. Elias chuckles and continues down his stomach. He lingers when he reaches the skin over the band of Ibarra’s underwear.

Ibarra’s breath hitches when he felt Elias’ hand on his buttocks as he reaches for his underwear and starts taking it off. He doesn’t realize he’s already naked until he felt Elias’ breath on his erection. He looks down at Elias as he passes it and kisses his thigh instead. Elias’ eyes flicker up as he kisses Ibarra’s thighs teasingly.

Elias happily takes his time in this area of Ibarra’s being. He sucks lovebites onto Ibarra’s inner thighs with the intention of no one else seeing it but Ibarra himself (and him, of course). He kisses all he can until he himself can’t take it anymore and kissed the tip of Ibarra’s dick.

Before Ibarra could know it, Elias’ mouth is already on his dick. He was too caught up with the feeling of Elias’ mouth so _close_ to him that he didn’t realize it. Elias starts sucking the tip and licking the length of it before sinking further. Ibarra cannot contain himself from the wet heat around him and the thought that Elias is the one doing that.

Elias starts bobbing his head up and down slowly with his hand around its base. He keeps doing that while his other hand works on Ibarra’s balls. His own erection is forgotten for a bit as he continues to do this until Ibarra is squirming into the bed. He comes off Ibarra and slides back up to kiss him. Ibarra’s arms circle around his neck.

“Take off your underwear,” Ibarra whispers to Elias’ ear and he obeys.

Now, the two are naked—literally and figuratively. All is bared for the other and they’re taking it to soul. Elias looks at Ibarra with hooded eyes yet the sincere love in them is clear as day. Ibarra pushes the hair from Elias’ face so he can see the man clearly. He smiles. God, he’s so in love and so, so lucky.

Ibarra kisses Elias again as he takes his hand and put it around Elias’ dick, using the pre-cum from the tip to slick it up. Elias moans into Ibarra’s mouth. Ibarra uses his hand to hold their dicks together and starts thrusting. Elias buries his head into Ibarra’s neck to muffle his moaning. Ibarra tries to be quiet and moans into Elias’ ear. He likes how Elias is moaning into his neck, it’s like Elias wanted only him to hear these lovely sounds coming from him. Elias kisses Ibarra on the lips.

“You’re amazing, you’re beautiful, I’m in love with you,” Elias says sincerely through pants.

Ibarra lets out a chuckle, “You’re choosing right now to say that?”

“It just came out,” Elias says and kisses Ibarra again.

It’s almost overwhelming how they’ve both dreamed about this for so long and now it’s truly happening. The pleasure of it all has been increased to an indescribable feeling. The feel of their bodies against each other is enough to drive each other mad.

Soon, they’re almost to the edge. Their breathing is getting faster. Ibarra is clinging onto Elias for dear life, his nails scratching Elias’ back, leaving red marks that will be a nice reminder for tomorrow. Elias likes the idea of Ibarra marking him, leaving traces of him all over his body, there to say that Elias is his. He kisses Ibarra lovingly before resting his forehead on his.

“Elias,” Ibarra pants.

“Crisostomo,” Elias says, without realizing it’s his first time calling Ibarra by his first name.

Ibarra smiles, quite liking the way his name rolls sweetly off of Elias’ mouth. How his name feels almost at home when Elias is the one saying it. How it’s different when Elias says it, like a promise or a prayer. He’ll have more time to think about Elias’ velvet voice paired with his name some other time.

“I love you,” Ibarra says.

Ibarra gasps when he comes. His face turning into this wonderful image of euphoric release that Elias is perfectly happy to keep for himself, thank you very much. His thighs tremble as Elias keeps thrusting towards his own orgasm. It only takes a few before Elias is coming as well. Ibarra makes sure to capture that moment, prying his eyes open to see the magnificent being before him. Elias gives a few more slow and little thrusts until he’s spent. He kisses Ibarra’s forehead.

“I love you too,” Elias breathes before getting up and taking a wet cloth from the en suite to clean themselves up. He lays next to Ibarra and puts the duvet over them.

“Thank you for making me feel better,” Ibarra says as he gives a kiss to Elias and throws his arm over him.

Elias chuckles and kisses his cheek, forehead, nose, and lips. “It’s my pleasure,” he says as he puts his arm over Ibarra and pulls him closer.

Ibarra tucks his head under Elias’ chin and sighs contentedly.

They sleep well as the moon and stars shine for them. They bask under the night sky for when tomorrow comes, the world is once again unknown.

Ibarra stirs in the middle of the night. His head throbs from the incoming hangover but the headache is overcome by another feeling. He suddenly feels scared as the thought of everything that happened being just a dream comes to mind. But then he feels something move behind him so he turns and sees Elias in all his post-sex glory, looking as beautiful as ever. His hair is all over the place yet he makes it look hot. Ibarra gently pushes the hair away from Elias’ face so he can look at him better.

Golden skin illuminated by moonlight. Pink lips parted a little from sleep and still shining. Long thick eyelashes against soft cheeks. How can Ibarra be so lucky?

He smiles as his thumb softly caresses his cheek. He looks a beat once more before gently lifting Elias’ arm from his waist and the duvet over him to go to his writing desk. He takes a letter paper and writes to Maria Clara. He writes with a smile on his face and love poured onto the page. He makes sure his dear friend will be swoon after reading this and happy, very happy. He puts it in an envelope and sets it aside before going back to bed.

He gets under the duvet and puts Elias’ arm back around him. He kisses his cheek softly before going back to sleep.

 

 

Maria Clara gets the letter from Ibarra two days after it was written. She was surprised to have heard from him after what happened and was discreet so as to not alarm his father and consequently, Padre Damaso. She opens the letter in her bedroom with a heavy feeling in her chest. Soon, the weight is lifted as a smile blossoms in her face when she continues to read the letter.

 

* * *

_Dearest Maria Clara,_

_I am writing in the middle of night after having woken up suddenly. The first thing I felt was fear (after the painful throb in my head from the alcohol finally catching up)—fear that all that happened after I left your home and got to mine was all a surreal dream. But I’m happy to inform you that all of that faded away when I felt familiar arms around me and saw him, next to me, sleeping soundly in all of his post-blissful-night glory. The details of said night is, of course, to not be discussed as of now._

_I do have something important to tell you: This man is not named Pico. He is the Pilot, our boatman from that lunch we had in the forest, the one whose life I apparently saved. He is Elias, the love of my life. I know it sounds saccharine but it is the truth. He came to me one night, explaining to me that he was taken in by my father while I was in Europe. He respected my father for he had become his as well. He wanted to say thank you and bid farewell for he was to go flee San Diego and find a new life for himself. I, of course, said no. I told him to stay with me and pose as my servant. Along the way, we’ve became good friends and now, very much more than that._

_I know you already knew and all that but I just wanted to let you know that we now know, too. I’ll explain our whole situation to him in the morning. I hope you’ll be happy to hear that._

_Now, for more urgent matters: I know what I’ve done have consequences. Ones that I’m sure will not be good for me. So, as a precaution, I’ll be on the low for a couple of days to protect myself and Elias from the early storm my actions have called upon. I know you understand, and I know I can trust you _—you're one of last few that I can.__

_Please, do pray for me as I will do the same for you and all those that matter. Thank you for everything, my dear._

_Sincerely yours, Crisostomo Ibarra._

* * *

 

Maria Clara isn’t sure if she should laugh or cry but she knows she is happy for the two of them. She does as she is asked. She prays for Ibarra and Elias as she also knows that what is coming for them will not be easy to fight. Yet she lets them have their couple of days together, they deserve that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you may blame this chapter for the more than a month without an update. and yes, this is my third and a half attempt at this—don't judge me y'all ;p not the best but they love each other and they're kissing now wOW


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